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‘The Bachelor’ Recap: And the Academy Award Goes to …


‘The Bachelor’ Recap: And the Academy Award Goes to …

Contestants on The Bachelor are ineligible for most major awards. Although the Emmys does give out five awards for reality TV shows, but none for actual cast, and The Bachelor has never been nominated. But don’t tell that to Shanae, who begged on Monday night’s episode for either an Oscar, Emmy, or Golden Globe and probably deserved all three. She is one of the greatest villains in the history of The Bachelor. I don’t say this lightly. I have great respect for villains of Bachelor past—but with a truly despicable performance, she has cemented her legendary status.

Monday night’s episode starts with Clayton trying to find out the true extent of Shanae’s temper tantrum from last week. Contestants tell him about how Shanae crashed their after-party and threw their hard-earned football trophy into “a pond.” (It is unclear why everybody keeps describing the final resting place of the trophy as “a pond;” there did not appear to be any ponds where they were.) Clayton confronts Shanae about this, and she appears to have a moment of genuine remorse. She apologizes to Clayton, then goes to the larger group and tearfully apologizes to them as well. The women begrudgingly accept Shanae’s apology, and tell her that she’s welcome to talk to them if she needs to.

It feels as if Shanae has had a come-to-Jesus moment, and realized that she had lost herself in petty BS. She returns to Clayton a seemingly changed woman and passionately makes out with him—and then the ominous music comes in. This is when you know things are not as they seem. Normally a Bachelor makeout is accompanied by sappy strings, not shark-in-the-water-style suspense.

As it turns out, Shanae’s apology was a sham. After having convinced Clayton, the women, and the audience of her sincerity, Shanae tells the camera that the entire thing was a ruse. She says that faking an apology when she wasn’t actually sorry was “the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life”—wow, incredibly easy life you’ve had!—and finishes with a triumphant “I’m not sorry, hoes!” She praises her own acting ability, demands award…

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