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The Jarrett Allen social media jokes were funny, but his real life teammates were wrong for making him buy that phone


The Jarrett Allen social media jokes were funny, but his real life teammates were wrong for making him buy that phone

iShameImage: Getty Images

iShameThe personalities are the most fun part about the NBA, but not only because they’re flashy or frequently appear in gossip blogs. Those players are fun, but it’s different types of personalities in the league that make it work.

If everyone was like James Harden and wore a pea coat version of He-Man’s vest from the Thundercats, it would get boring. Scrolling through Met Gala pics is fun for an evening, but seeing every person dress as gaudy as humanly possible would get old halfway through an NBA season.

We need Patrick Beverley to do beach workouts in Timberlands, Kawhi Leonard to wear the same sweats to NBA games that he would travel in as a college player to balance out the Russell Westbrook dressing like whatever bright color combination or inanimate object inspired him that day. There are 15 people on an NBA team, so fans of the league get to know a much greater percentage of the players than fans of other leagues. So it stands out when Steve Kerr and Dennis Rodman play on the same team, and we’re all better for that having happened.

So leave Jarrett Allen alone.

He’s apparently a simple man, with simple tastes, and an excellent afro. Allen got roasted on Twitter for his outfit at All-Star Saturday Night. Yes, it absolutely looked like a hoodie that he bought at Target, but so what. The man went for comfort instead of speed after his squad won the skills challenge.

As hilarious as I found this unnecessary joke about his attire on Saturday Night, I draw the line at what his Cleveland Cavaliers teammates made him do. During an appearance on Brian Windhorst’s Hoop Collective podcast, Allen said that his teammates refused to include him in the group chat until he bought an iPhone. “They want all blue messages,” he said.

This is where I draw the line. I have personal experience with Android shaming, as one of my cousins did it to me yesterday. Let me be clear, I could care less about your stupid blue bubbles. It’s a phone. I didn’t buy this for you to look at. I bought it for me so I can function in a society where I don’t know how to read a map book. My phone is…

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